1 AM and One I AM

SO, it's 1am as you may have guessed. And, I'm just in a weird mood. Two days ago I was locked in a bathroom with 2 then 3 of my coworkers because of a tornado warning. It was suppose to rip right through town, but ended up passing over us. Well, as my family heard about this they started praying for me, and getting our friends to pray as well. Well, I start getting all these "I love you" texts as if I was going to die. To be completely honest, I was bored, so I sent out a few of them...I know I'm a dork. Most of my friends were just saying things like "your not gonna die" or "you'll be fine" which I would, but like I said, I was bored. A few of them said they were praying for me, which is always encouraging. But fewer still, had the mindset that IF I really wasn't going to be ok, they wanted to tell me they loved me.

This really got me thinking (which is never good.) What if I had died that day? What if all the things I'd hoped for, and waited for, and longed for never came true? What if I only lived to 23? What IF Friday April 22 was my last day on this earth? What would I have missed out on? What are all the things I always wanted to do but didn't? What did I do this year that means something, or means ANYTHING? What are the things I did but wish I hadn't? What do I wish I could just ONE MORE TIME?

I know what you're thinking, and It seems so depressing and emo or whatever, but hey? You never know.

So as I sit here, now 1:10 AM I wonder...have I told everyone I loved them? Have I adequately shown Christ to the world? Am I satisfied with my life? Is Psychology really what I want to do? Will I die alone?

I can't answer these questions...well at least not all of them. I know God will never leave me, and so in that sense I will not ever be truly alone, but that doesn't mean I'll never be lonely. But how do you know? How do you know if you are truly following God's will for your life?

All of this just to say, I don't know what I want with my life ...... except I want to follow God. But how in this world of noise and confusion can I truly know what HE wants me to do?

So I end with this: I am but one man, who knows not what he should do. But I know the I AM, and I'll follow HIM till my life is through.

Goodnight.